Underneath this calm exterior my mind is racing. Mostly I am trying to think about all the things that need to get done at home and at work before the baby arrives. I just hope that I don’t forget anything. Twenty, even ten years ago, I would have been a bundle of nerves and my panic attacks would have been frequent and intense. I had a panic attack last week when I went to the Texas State Fair – it was sensory overload, but I was able to keep it together. Since then I have been able to be relatively calm.

I love buying t-shirts from everywhere I go. At the fair, I bought a Dallas Police Mounted Unit t-shirt for myself and then noticed they had child sizes too. I debated with myself as to whether I should buy one for our son. I felt like if I bought a shirt, I’d jinx the whole thing. I gave in and bought a shirt for him as well. I don’t know anything about sizes so I asked for the smallest one they had. It turns out, he will be three years old before he can wear it.

Last night I bought a firefighter one piece jumper. Again, a small fear crept into my head but I went ahead anyway. We have been looking at strollers and a few other times online. I am still trying to figure out the best way to fly with a newborn and where to stay and what we will need in the hotel.